Parents Speak Up Workshop

Presented by: Hispanic Outreach Center

More information: www.4parents.gov

Parents Speak Up National Campaign

• What: National public education campaign sponsored by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
• Objective: Encourage parents to talk to their child early and often about waiting to have sex in order to help ensure their future success and happiness.
• Target Audience: Parents of children aged 10-13.
• Campaign includes: TV, radio, print, outdoor and internet; and Community Outreach.
• Web site: www.4parents.gov
  

Hispanic Outreach Center

• Purpose
• • To share the message of “Parents Speak Up” with Hispanic families and communities.
  • To be a resource for you.
  • To empower parents.

• Confederation of Spanish American Families
• • [community name] Hispanic Abstinence Coalition led by [lead agency name]

• What we do:
• • Community Events
  • Parent Workshops
    

Who’s talking to your Kids if You’re not?

[images of media and online influences]

Why do you need to talk to your kids?

• Delaying sexual activity is linked to a child’s future success in their career, education and overall happiness.
• Teen sex can deflate self-esteem, erode optimism and spoil the quality of intimate relationships.
• 66% of sexually active teens wish they had waited.
• Teens themselves say that abstaining from sexual activity would help them be more successful.
  

Why do you need to talk to your kids?

The Hispanic community has unique challenges:

• The second highest teen pregnancy rate:
• • 131 per 1,000 compared to 75 for the national average.

• The highest teen birth rate.
• • 83 per 1,000, more than double the national rate.

• 51% of Hispanics/Latinas in the U.S. become pregnant at least once before age 20.
   

More health concerns for Hispanics

• Each year 9 million cases of STDs occur among young people aged 15-24; this is the group with the highest STD rate in the US.
• Among 15 to 19-year-olds, Chlamydia infection rates are 50 percent higher among Mexican Americans compared to non-Hispanic whites.
• Latinos make up 11.8 percent of the population, yet 17 percent of all AIDS cases diagnosed each year.
• Latinos are among those at greatest risk for contracting hepatitis C.
• Hispanic women are seven times more likely to contract AIDS and have higher rates of syphilis compared to non-Hispanic white women.
  

Why do Hispanics face these challenges?

• Sex is considered a “taboo” topic.
• Language barriers
• Generational differences
• Gender-based roles
  

Mixed Messages

In our community two different messages are sent:

• Girls are expected to wait until marriage to have sex.
• Boys are unintentionally pressured to start sexual activity to prove their manhood.
  

We need to send them both the consistent message:

“If you’ll wait to have sex, you have a better chance for  success and happiness.” 
 

What Parents think about the conversation

• My parents never talked to me about sex.        
• I am afraid to talk to my pre teens and teens about sex.
• I would like to, but don’t know what to say or how to say it.    
• It’s my wife’s responsibility to talk to the girls about sex.           
• It’s my husband’s responsibility to talk to the boys about sex.
• Boys are not capable of waiting to have sex.     
  

What Parents think about the conversation

• Waiting to have sex until marriage is not realistic nowadays.   
• I can’t talk to my kids about waiting because I didn’t wait.        
• I don’t need to bring up. My kids will learn about it in school.   
• My child will ask me about sex when he/she is ready.   
• I am fearful of my kids knowing too much too soon.
• They will not listen to what I have to say.          
                          

Parents Can Make a Difference

• Research shows that parents have the greatest influence on their teens’ sexual decisions – more than their peers or the media.
• 9 out of 10 teens say that it would be easier to wait to have sex if they could talk with their parents about it.
   

Benefits of Waiting

Telling your kids to wait can help them:

• Avoid unwanted pregnancies.
• Prevent sexually transmitted infections.
• Help them have a high self-esteem
• Help them focus on personal and educational goals.
• Succeed in life.
• Avoid feelings of guilt and/or regret.
  

It’s Not Easy, But You’re Not Alone

• Many parents have difficulty talking with their kids about sex and waiting.
• Some common reasons are:

• What are the other reasons?
  

Talking to your kids: What do we say?

• What do we tell our kids?
  

“Talk with your kids early and often. Tell them you want them to wait to have sex. And they’ll have a better chance at success.”

• Key messages:
• Communication
• Values
• Goals
• Talking with your kids about waiting to have sex is linked to their success.
  

Activity: Hispanic Family Roundtable

Break up into small groups

Discuss:

• Why did you respond the way you did?
• How did other parents respond?
• Are there items you all agreed on?
• Items where none of you agreed?
  

Share your findings with the whole group

• What did you learn?
• Have you ever discussed this issue with other parents?
   

Why Do Parents Find Talking So Hard?

• Many say that their parents didn’t talk to them so they feel uncomfortable and unprepared to talk to their children.
• Many feel a sense of loss as they see their child transition into adolescence in a culture that’s different from their own.
• Loss of close bond with their child
• Loss of influence over their child’s decisions
• Other reasons?
  

Talking Benefits Both the Parent and Child 

Parents will:

• Maintain a close relationship with their child and continue to be an important part of their life as they grow into adulthood.
• Continue to be a primary influence in their child’s decisions.
   

Having an Effective Conversation

Where to start

• Talk early – when your child is beginning the transition into adolescence.
• Talk often to reinforce your values and maintain an open communication with your child.
  

They Want To Hear It From You

What should you know?

• Educate yourself on the subject and give them the facts about sex.
• It’s okay to not know. If you don’t have an answer, find it together.
• Listen attentively to your child’s concerns about sex, help them find information to address those concerns.
• Share appropriate personal experiences that can help ease the conversation.
  

Talking Can Be Easier Than You Think

• Use movies, TV and everyday occurrences as conversation starters.
• Offer small pieces of information – build up the information over time.
• Have conversations during everyday, enjoyable activities (driving, playing soccer, cooking etc.)
• Avoid direct confrontation that may cause to discomfort.
• Ask questions to get your child to talk about their beliefs.
• Keep it light and casual.
   

Help teens develop refusal skills

They can say “No” by being “NICE”

N – Say “No.”

I –  Follow with an “I” statement.

C – If pressure continues, change subject or location.

E – If these strategies don’t help, your teen needs an “exit” plan.

Start the Conversation

• Be confident when you express your values and expectations.
• Believe in their ability to wait to have sex and express it to them often.
• Praise your children to help them build a high self-esteem.
• Encourage self-respect and respect for others.
• Set an example for your children with your own lifestyle.
  

We’re Here to Help

Get help and support at: www.4parents.gov

What you’ll find there:

• Facts
• Tips to start the conversation
• Downloadable tools
  

Other tools:

• “Parents, Speak Up” brochure
• “Teen Chat”

We’re working on having everything translated to Spanish.

So check back often!

We’re Here to Help

Additional Parent Groups in English/Spanish:

(List events and information on lead agency)

Bring your friends!

Statistics and More Information

The statistics used in this presentation can be found in the following places:

• Maynard, R.A., “The Costs of Adolescent Childbearing,” in R.A. Maynard (ed.), Kids Having Kids: Economic Costs and Social Consequences of Teen Pregnancy (pp. 285-338), Washington, DC: The Urban Institute Press, 1997.
• Singh, S., & Darroch, J.E., “Adolescent Pregnancy and Childbearing: Levels and Trends in Developed Countries,” Family Planning Perspectives, 32(1), pp. 14-23.
• Resnick, M.D.; Bearman, R.S.; Blum, R.W.; Bauman, K.E.; Harris, K.M.; Jones, J.; Tabor, J.; Beuhring, T.; Sieving, R.E.; Shew, M.; Ireland, M.; Bearinger, L.H.; and Udry, J.R. “Protecting Adolescents From Harm. Findings From the National Longitudinal Study on Adolescent Health.” Journal of the American Medical Association, 1997, 278:823-832.
• Albert, Bill. “With One Voice 2007: America’s Adults and Teens Sound Off About Teen Pregnancy.” National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. February 2007.
• The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. “Teen Sexual Activity, Pregnancy and Childbearing Among Latinos in the United States.” October 2006. Available online at: http://www.teenpregnancy.org/resources/reading/fact_sheets/default.asp.
• American Social Health Association. “STD Fact Sheets: Hispanics and Sexually Transmitted Diseases.” Available online at: http://www.ashastd.org/news/hisp.cfm.

www.4parents.gov is a useful resource for finding these and other facts and figures.

Last revised: July 14, 2008