Parents Speak Up Workshop

Parents Speak Up Workshop

Presented by: Hispanic Outreach Center

More information: www.4parents.gov

Parents Speak Up National Campaign

• What: National public education campaign sponsored by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
• Objective: Encourage parents to talk to their child early and often about waiting to have sex in order to help ensure their future success and happiness.
• Target Audience: Parents of children aged 10-13.
• Campaign includes: TV, radio, print, outdoor and internet; and Community Outreach.
• Web site: www.4parents.gov
  

Hispanic Outreach Center

• Purpose

         o To share the message of “Parents Speak Up” with Hispanic families and communities.
         o To be a resource for you.
         o To empower parents.

Confederation of Spanish American Families
         o  [community name] Hispanic Abstinence Coalition led by [lead agency name]

• What we do:
        o Community events: The Party, Man to Man, and The Picnic
        o Parent Workshops

The Hispanic Family

•  The Hispanic Family is generally known for being, or striving to be, a united family.
   A united family:
      o Is the foundation for raising healthy children.
      o Provides the tools that will help kids make wise choices that will enable them to accomplish their goals and dreams.
      o Helps our kids develop skills that will allow them to avoid things that may harm them.
•  The Hispanic Family is also distinguished for maintaining its cultural traditions and family values. Discuss:
         o What values and traditions are we talking about?
         o How do we share these values with our kids?
         o What about the value of waiting to have sex?

The Parents Speak Up National Campaign
[Showing of ad “Muffinhead”] 

Who’s Talking to Your Kids if You’re Not?
[Images of media and online influences]

Why do you need to talk to your kids?

•  Delaying sexual activity is linked to a child’s future success in their career, education and overall happiness.
•  Teen sex can deflate self-esteem, erode optimism and spoil the quality of intimate relationships.
•  66% of sexually active teens wish they had waited.
•  Teens themselves say that abstaining from sexual activity would help them be more successful.

Why do you need to talk to your kids?

•  The Hispanic community has unique challenges:
           o The second highest teen pregnancy rate:
               o  131 per 1,000 compared to 75 for the national average.
  
• The highest teen birth rate.
          o 83 per 1,000, more than double the national rate.
          o 51% of Hispanics/Latinas in the U.S. become pregnant at least once before age 20.
  
• In 2005, nearly 80% of Hispanic teen births were to unmarried mothers.

More Health Concerns

•  Each year 9 million cases of STDs occur in the US, nearly half of them are among young people aged 15-24; highest STD rate in the US.
•  Teens, especially girls, who have sexual intercourse may be at greater risk for depression.
•   Boys and girls with symptoms of depression are more likely to get involved in very risky sexual behaviors.

Facing the Barriers

• Sex is considered a “taboo” topic

• Language barriers

• Generational differences

• Gender-based roles

• Parental absence

• Conflicting social interests

• Extended family interference

• Lack of education about sex

Mixed Messages

• In our community two different messages are sent:

        o Girls are expected to wait until marriage to have sex.
        o Boys are unintentionally pressured to start sexual activity to prove their manhood.

•  We need to send them both the consistent message:
    o “If you’ll wait to have sex, you have a better chance for success and happiness.”

Parents Can Make a Difference

•  Research shows that parents have the greatest influence on their teens’ sexual decisions – more than their peers or the media.
  
•  9 out of 10 teens say that it would be easier to wait to have sex if they could talk with their parents about it.

Benefits of Waiting

• Telling your kids to wait can help them:
          o Avoid unwanted pregnancies
          o Prevent sexually transmitted infections
          o Help them have a high self-esteem
          o Help them focus on personal and educational goals
          o Succeed in life
          o Avoid feelings of guilt and/or regret

Talking to your kids: What do we say?

• What do we tell our kids?

        o “Talk with your kids early and often. Tell them you want them to wait to have sex. And they’ll have a better chance at success.”

•  Key messages:
  o Communication
  o Values
  o Goals
  
• Talking with your kids about waiting to have sex is linked to their success.

Are you Connected with Your Child?

•  Homework:
  o Talk to your kids about their goals and dreams. (academic, professional, personal, etc)
  o How do you feel about those goals and dreams?
  o What are your expectations for your kids?
  o Share your values and expectations with your child.
  
•  It’s time to re-connect!

Next session

Save the Date! [Date of session 2]

Discussion points:

• When and how to talk to your kids about waiting to have sex
• Tips to make the conversation easier
• You will be able to share your experience with other parents
• Bring your friends!

Parents Speak Up Workshop
Session 2

Presented by: Hispanic Outreach Center 

More information: www.4parents.gov

Parents Speak Up National Campaign

• What: National public education campaign sponsored by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
• Objective: Encourage parents to talk to their child early and often about waiting to have sex in order to help ensure their future success and happiness.
• Target Audience: Parents of children aged 10-13.
• Campaign includes:

        o TV, radio, print, outdoor and internet

        o Community Outreach

• Website: www.4parents.gov

Quick review

•  Parents have the greatest influence on their teens’ sexual decisions
  
•  Health risks of sexual activity
  
• Barriers to starting the conversation about waiting to have sex

Activity: Roundtable

[Break up into small groups]

•  Discuss:

        o What was your child’s reaction?
        o What are your child’s goals and dreams?
        o How did you feel?
        o Was it difficult?
        o What did you learn?

• Share your findings with the whole group
  
• Now that you’ve made a connection, talk to your child about waiting to have sex

Why Do Parents Find Talking So Hard?

•  Many say that their parents didn’t talk to them so they feel uncomfortable and unprepared to talk to their children.

•  Many feel a sense of loss as they see their child transition into adolescence in a culture that’s different from their own.
  o Loss of close bond with their child
  o Loss of influence over their child’s decisions

Talking Benefits Both the Parent and Child

•  Parents will:

        o Maintain a close relationship with their child and continue to be an important part of their life as they grow into adulthood.
        o Continue to be a primary influence in their child’s decisions.

When and How to Talk

•  Where to start

        o Talk early – when your child is beginning the transition into adolescence.

        o Talk often to reinforce your values and maintain an open communication with your child.

They Want To Hear It From You

•   What should you know?
  o Educate yourself on the subject and give them the facts about sex.
  o It’s okay to not know. If you don’t have an answer, find it together.
  o Listen attentively to your child’s concerns about sex, help them find information to address those concerns.
  o Share appropriate personal experiences that can help ease the conversation.

It’s Easier Than You Think

•  Use movies, TV and everyday occurrences as conversation starters.
  
•  Offer small pieces of information – build up the information over time.
  
•  Have conversations during everyday, enjoyable activities (driving, playing soccer, cooking etc.)
  
•  Avoid confrontation that may cause discomfort.
  
•  Ask questions to get your child to talk about their beliefs.
  
•  Keep it light and casual.

Activity: Role Play

Scenarios:

• 10 year-old asks both parents: “What’s sex?”
•  Parent and child driving and a suggestive song plays on the radio.
•  You’re having dinner and your child brings up the fact that a student is pregnant in school.
•  You’re at the park and you see a teen couple engaging in inappropriate behavior.

A Plan for Success

• Help your kids develop a plan for success:
  o Set goals
  o Create a “success map” together
  o Provide support
  o Help them stay focused
  o Be and stay involved in their life
  
•  “Talk with your kids early and often. Tell them you want them to wait to have sex. And they’ll have a better chance at success.”

Help Teens Develop Refusal Skills

•  They can say “No” by being “NICE”
  o N – Say “No.”
  o I –  Follow with an “I” statement.
  o C – If pressure continues, change subject or location.
  o E – If these strategies don’t help, your teen needs an “exit” plan.

Start the Conversation

• Be confident when you express your values and expectations.
  
•  Believe in their ability to wait to have sex and express it to them often.
  
• Praise your children to help them build a high self-esteem.
  
•  Encourage self-respect and respect for others.
  
•  Set an example for your children with your own lifestyle.

We’re Here to Help

•  Get help and support at: www.4parents.gov
  
•  What you’ll find there:
  o Facts
  o Tips to start the conversation
  o Downloadable tools
  
•  Other tools:
  o “Parents Speak Up” brochure
  o “Teen Chat”
  
•     Materials are also available in Spanish!

We’re Here to Help

•   Additional Parent Groups in English/Spanish:
          [List events and information on lead agency]
  
•  Bring your friends!

Statistics and More Information

The statistics used in this presentation can be found in the following places:

• Maynard, R.A., “The Costs of Adolescent Childbearing,” in R.A. Maynard (ed.), Kids Having Kids: Economic Costs and Social Consequences of Teen Pregnancy (pp. 285-338), Washington, DC: The Urban Institute Press, 1997.
• Singh, S., & Darroch, J.E., “Adolescent Pregnancy and Childbearing: Levels and Trends in Developed Countries,” Family Planning Perspectives, 32(1), pp. 14-23.
• Resnick, M.D.; Bearman, R.S.; Blum, R.W.; Bauman, K.E.; Harris, K.M.; Jones, J.; Tabor, J.; Beuhring, T.; Sieving, R.E.; Shew, M.; Ireland, M.; Bearinger, L.H.; and Udry, J.R. “Protecting Adolescents From Harm. Findings From the National Longitudinal Study on Adolescent Health.” Journal of the American Medical Association, 1997, 278:823-832.
• Albert, Bill. “With One Voice 2007: America’s Adults and Teens Sound Off About Teen Pregnancy.” National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. February 2007.
• The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. “Teen Sexual Activity, Pregnancy and Childbearing Among Latinos in the United States.” October 2006. Available online at: http://www.teenpregnancy.org/resources/reading/fact_sheets/default.asp.
• American Social Health Association. “STD Fact Sheets: Hispanics and Sexually Transmitted Diseases.” Available online at: http://www.ashastd.org/news/hisp.cfm.

www.4parents.gov is a useful resource for finding these and other facts and figures.

Last revised: July 01, 2009