HOC Postcard (English Version)
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I need you...NOW!
It’s never too late to improve the relationship with your child...
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Practical Guide to Enrich the Relationship with Your Children
1. DEMONSTRATE YOUR LOVE, AFFECTION, AND INVEST QUALITY TIME
It is very important for children to feel accepted, appreciated, and loved by their parents. This will help to build their self-esteem and reaffirm their trust in and respect for their parents.
2. RESPECT THEM!
Never insult your children. Don't call them names or belittle them even when they've made a mistake. Call them by their first name; this will bring your children closer to you and increase their trust in you.
3. PRAISE THEM!
Encourage your children, make them feel important and wanted and remind them of their self-worth. You can use phrases such as: "Well done," "I am very proud of you," "Thank you," "Please," "You are doing it very well," "I love you," "You are incredible," "You can do it," "I am so proud to have a son/daughter like you," "Cheer up," "Great job!," "I'm sure you'll do better next time," etc. This helps your children to develop a positive self-concept and will help them to cope with difficulties in their future.
4. DO NOT COMPARE YOUR CHILDRENWITH OTHERS
Making comparisons among your own children, yourself or others may generate disappointment and resentment towards each other and may also work against their self-esteem. They may develop feelings of inferiority. Each child has his/her own personality and own way of thinking.
5. COMMUNICATE CONSTANTLYWITH THEM
Invite them to sit down and talk, put your hand on their shoulder, go out for a walk, play with them, call them if you are away from home; this helps to create a positive relationship between parent and child. Your children will start to see you as the friend and advisor with whom they can share their worries, problems, and anxieties. This will remind them of their ability to verbalize their feelings and to ask you for help when they need it.
6. HIGHLIGHT AND REAFIRM THEIR QUALITIES
Acknowledge their qualities as well as their positive behaviors; they need to feel valued by their parents. Many parents make the mistake of only highlighting their children's negative actions.
7. ACCEPT YOUR CHILDREN THEWAY THEYARE!
Your children need to know that you accept them even if they behave differently from how you would like them to. Help your child realize that you truly love and accept him/her as a person, but firmly disagree with certain misbehaviors. Make "solutions" your focal point rather than problems; focus on your children's positive actions and ideas, this will encourage them towards collaborating with you and will facilitate conversations of trust, affection, direction, and spontaneity.
8. RESPECT THEIR FRIENDS!
Allow your teenagers to make their own decisions and let them choose friends for themselves whenever possible but also provide guidance and suggestions. Advise your children of the risks associated with unhealthy friendships and relationships while communicating your trust in their ability to make intelligent choices. Help them to feel mature enough to choose their friends wisely. This will reaffirm their sense of responsibility throughout their lives.
9. BE A FRIEND TO YOUR CHILDREN
Conversations with your children about love, affection, and sexuality will open the door to further trust between them and you on these important topics. Educate yourself on the topic of sexuality to obtain reliable information and the comfort to speak about it.
10.SPEAK WITH YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT ABSTINENCE
Talk to your children about the importance of abstinence. Inform them of its benefits and help them see that abstinence until marriage is the healthiest choice they can make for their lives. Have the courage to express that this is your expectation for all your children, males and females.
Last revised: January 22, 2009
