Sex may be a hard topic to discuss with our kids, but it’s time to face the barriers. Following are some of the cultural barriers parents have when it comes to talking to their kids about sex:
Sex is a taboo topic – Today sex is still a taboo. It’s all around us, but we still just don’t like to talk about it.
Tip: Get information and be prepared to talk to your kids about sex and any other topic. Also look for ways to bring it up during everyday moments (instead of building up to “The Talk”). Visit www.4parents.gov for helpful information and tips on how to get past this barrier.
Language barriers – Many kids speak English primarily while many parents may speak primarily Spanish. Don’t let this stop you from talking with your kids – there’s information available in Spanish.
Tip: Learn the way your children communicate with their friends. Seek information and be confident when you talk to them about sex. Your kids will listen to you.
Generational differences – Like every generation, raising a child is different than the way we were raised. These differences present problems for every family. If you were born in another country, cultural differences may make the generational difference still more difficult to address.
Tip: Keep it real. No matter what differences you may think separate you from your kids, all kids want to know their parents love them and care enough about them to share their thoughts and values with them. While it’s very important to keep your traditions and instill your values, also be open to the positive things from the culture that you and your kids are part of today.
Gender-based roles – Often mothers and fathers can take on roles that serve to limit their involvement in certain areas of the family. This doesn’t need to happen. Beware of assuming that “only a mom should do this” or “only the dad should say that” when talking to your kids about waiting to have sex. It can really hinder your ability to help your kids make the best decisions about sex.
Tip: Kids benefit from having BOTH mom and dad involved. Both parents can take the initiative to talk to their kids about sex and any other topic.
Parental absence – This may be due to working long hours, single parenting, or separation of family members.
Tip: Parental absence does not mean you can’t talk. Be part of your kids’ lives in any way you can. Kids thrive when their parents are involved. It’s crucial to be aware of and understand what’s going on in the life of your kids and be available to provide guidance. This also pertains to caregivers.
Conflicting social interests – Family members engage in their own activities during their spare time instead of spending time together (i.e.: watching TV shows / novelas, playing sports, going out with friends, talking on the phone, etc).
Tip: Your kids are more important than anything or anyone else! Spend quality time with them; this will help enrich your relationship.
Extended family interference – In many cases, our extended families can be a great help in raising children. Sometimes, though, extended family members – like aunts, uncles, and grandparents – can have an unhealthy influence on your kids.
Tip: You are the parent. As much as family members want to contribute their piece of advice, know where to draw the line. Be the main teacher for your children. This will avoid contradicting messages.
Lack of education on the subject – Many parents and caregivers didn’t receive information about sex and waiting when they were kids. They may think the information is simply not available, but it is.
Tip: It’s important to learn about this subject so you can help your kids make healthy decisions. Plus it’s easier than you think and will also help strengthen your communication with your kids.
These tips will help you stay connected with your kids!
4parents.gov has a lot more information and you can also contact your local Hispanic Abstinence Coalition (HAC) lead agency to attend a Parents Speak Up workshop in your area.
